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I’m just now exiting a 20-year relationship with a man, and I have my first girlfriend with whom I am deeply in love. The process of discovery is more exciting and affirming than I ever thought possible. I am astounded every day at the sexual creativity that’s possible between two women, and the liberation from heterosexual norms and roles has been a revelation.

I had convinced myself that passion and lust were for younger people and that part of my life was over, but with this partner, I was having incredibly open, honest, fun, and exciting sex. We were completely comfortable with each other and asked for what we needed, explored each other’s kinks, and took care of each other. He told me he loved me and promised me a life together, but in the least surprising cliche ever, he balked at actually committing to a relationship when my divorce was finalized, and he’s gone now.

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